love makes seman taste better
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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