This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
