Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I fill condoms, not promises.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
