Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
organizing the empties. That sober.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm just crazy horny about you
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
