i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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