He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
