yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
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Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize