Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize