when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
