I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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