is your mom at the bar?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
