I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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