I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
