My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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