I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
