similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
