i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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