Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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