Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
