Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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