I just saw a hot homeless man
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
