Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
