Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
me + whiskey = a bad person
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
