i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
