so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
