You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
