help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
