i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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