Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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