just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
