I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
