Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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