She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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