So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
