What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
