i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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