I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
