my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
