Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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