quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
