Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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