Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
