You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
50% drunk capacity currently
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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