It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
