Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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