i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
