I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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