he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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