I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
