I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
