Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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