I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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