I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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