the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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