But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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