last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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