i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
