Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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