Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
