i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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