Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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